how to have a good fight - any ideas?

The blog is about to suffer neglect for a few weeks.  I've been drafted to speak a Sunday morning message on May 25 - "how to have a good fight".  If you have any thoughts on this subject, I'd love to hear from you!

Comments

[natalie ambrose]

DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME, STEVE!!!! (How's that for having a good fight?) Tee-hee-hee! :)

In all my 4 yrs of marriage (which is tiny comparatively), the concept of fighting has actually never been an issue. Ours are more like negotiations, diagreements, or discussions. We had good pre-marital counseling, so we learned the rules early. Coming from a very "vocal" family though, I definitely learned how NOT to fight growing up. For Kyle & I, the most important thing has always been trying to see the issue from the other's point of view. That usually dispells any hatefulness.

[trblmkrtess]

I like Natalie's idea of seeing the issue from the other's point of view. At the same time, I've always found that praying together cripples anger, resentment, and most any other "negative" emotions associated with the fight/disagreement/argument. I've said it elsewhere, but I'll say it here too: Prayer creates a bridge that only love can cross.

Maybe you need a "time-out" before you pray, but by focusing together on (what should be) your first love: Jesus, that which would drive you apart, He will use to knit you closer--to Him, and to each other.