Inside the Sojourn

Living a (bad) dream

Had lunch today with an old friend from our days in Tulsa.  He was in town and called unexpectedly so we had some Chinese food.  I'd heard third hand about what he'd been through.  His wife inexplicably left him and his two (grown) kids for another man - a guy he had trusted and helped after several years in prison.  It was a little over 2 years ago and still bewildering even when he put together what happened.

The bizarre part is that I had an extremely vivid dream 2 days before that his ex-wife had shown up at our door to visit.  The dream itself was nothing extraordinary except for how crisp the image is in my mind and his phone call within 48 hours.  I can't explain the timing, but I don't believe in coincidence.

He was certainly not perfect as a husband - too quick to get angry, perhaps not empathetic enough.  Our close circle of friends could see it, but it never looked unmanagable.  In the end, only God knows the what really led to her decision.  Everyone around them was taken by surprise at her leaving everything behind.

This isn't the first time I've seen this type of behavior.  A number of years ago, my stepmother left her entire life behind.  I've only seen her twice since and she is not the same person I used to know.  I have no idea what makes a person snap like that, but it clearly happens.  My friend has contemplated killing himself and the guy that took his wife.  Fortunately, he's got enough sense to know that neither would solve anything.  So he soldiers on, feelng like he's living in a bad dream, knowing that he has a wall built against trusting again.  I am praying for my old friend.

Exhilaration and terrification all at the same time

It's both exhilarating  and terrifying to speak about God from a platform to "the faithful".  Yesterday I had the privilege and responsibility of speaking to hundreds of people about "how to have a good fight".  It was a conversation about the value of properly managing the process of working out differences, especially in the context of marriage - of an intentionality in conflict that leads to strength and maturity rather than the destruction of trust. 
I mostly said the things I wanted to say and only chased one small rabbit that I can recall - not that anyone would even realize it when listening.  If only I could measure success that easily.  Afterwards was a mix of exhaustion and gratitude (that I got through it).

After lunch we went to Wallyworld to buy burgers and fixins for our home group on Sunday night.  In the parking lot as we were leaving, an energetic women who had obviously heard me speak that morning came seemingly out of the blue and said with great enthusiasm "we had conflict at Chili's ordering our food!"  All I could think to do was ask "Did you manage it well?".  She said something to the effect of "we got stronger!". 

I was grateful for the impromptu interaction.  It was fun and encouraging.  It gave me something to reflect on as the inevitable struggle ensued later that night.  As I prepared for bed, the enormity of God hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was overcome with the desire to fold up and rock, nursing the fear of having said something not quite right; grappling with the impact words have for good or bad; hoping I was faithful and effective.

In a way, I hope I never get over the slight nausea that follows when I speak publicly about God.  I never want to lose sight of the fact that God is too big and too powerful and wise for me to grasp.  That I am more dependent on him that I will ever understand.  That his mercy and forgiveness will prevail.  That the conflict inside makes me stronger and more mature when I submit to God.

A miracle you can watch unfold

A couple of friends have decided to adpot a child from Ethiopia.  This grew out of a mission trip there last year in which the wife, Rande, fell in love with the place and the people.  It takes a lot of prayer, time, paperwork and money to pull off a miracle like this.  And make no mistake, this adoption will be a miracle for everyone involved.  It's a picture of God adopting us into his family.

I recommend you check out their blog - while you're at it, consider helping them out; there are a number of ways to do it...  You can link to their blog here.

how to have a good fight - any ideas?

The blog is about to suffer neglect for a few weeks.  I've been drafted to speak a Sunday morning message on May 25 - "how to have a good fight".  If you have any thoughts on this subject, I'd love to hear from you!

Getting out of Dodge for the weekend

We're headed to Dallas this weekend with 10 members of the worship team (singers, instrumentalists, sound engineer...).  Our plan - spy on a couple of churches with outstanding worship ministries.  Specifically, Gateway and Village Church.  We'll attend a Saturday evening service, have dinner and some fun, then get up Sunday and go to an early service, then head home - just gone overnight.  My hope is to come away inspired by the great work others are doing and maybe with some new ideas.

I'm grateful that we have a large enough team that there will be a strong group staying home this weekend to carry out the worship ministry at Sunnybrook.  One of my goals for the ministry is that I become less and less important to what happens on the platform every Sunday.  Developing leadership is the key so that when the time comes for me to pass the baton, it's as smooth as silk.  Hopefully, that won't be any time soon because I'm having a great time serving with a great team.

If you attend Sunnybrook, please be praying for the worship team, the presence of God in our services and the growth in freedom of our fellowship to worship in spirit and truth.  If you don't attend church with us, well pray anyway and thanks for reading the blog.