Had lunch today with an old friend from our days in Tulsa. He was in town and called unexpectedly so we had some Chinese food. I'd heard third hand about what he'd been through. His wife inexplicably left him and his two (grown) kids for another man - a guy he had trusted and helped after several years in prison. It was a little over 2 years ago and still bewildering even when he put together what happened.
The bizarre part is that I had an extremely vivid dream 2 days before that his ex-wife had shown up at our door to visit. The dream itself was nothing extraordinary except for how crisp the image is in my mind and his phone call within 48 hours. I can't explain the timing, but I don't believe in coincidence.
He was certainly not perfect as a husband - too quick to get angry, perhaps not empathetic enough. Our close circle of friends could see it, but it never looked unmanagable. In the end, only God knows the what really led to her decision. Everyone around them was taken by surprise at her leaving everything behind.
This isn't the first time I've seen this type of behavior. A number of years ago, my stepmother left her entire life behind. I've only seen her twice since and she is not the same person I used to know. I have no idea what makes a person snap like that, but it clearly happens. My friend has contemplated killing himself and the guy that took his wife. Fortunately, he's got enough sense to know that neither would solve anything. So he soldiers on, feelng like he's living in a bad dream, knowing that he has a wall built against trusting again. I am praying for my old friend.
I will be praying for him too, Steve. I am perplexed at how folks can completely quit on their family, but like you, I know of several. I have also known folks who have followed through on their threat of suicide over broken relationships and know how mixed up their minds get and how they don't think clearly. I only wish those folks who did die would have confided in a great friend, or been guided to a church or minister somewhere. I don't know this gentlemen of which you speak, but if you can, let him know that there are others out there in his corner and praying for the best.
Posted by: Jason | June 04, 2008 at 02:17 PM